I think …I need to start doing some proper exercise.

A friend has gone through all this before, and he is looking pretty damn good, so, I imagine he’s found what works for his body and what doesn’t.

[this is taken from an email to my friend, basically asking for his suggestions, but also if any of you have any suggestions, I’d be keen to hear them too]   Anytime you see ‘you’, i’m referring to my friend.

ALso I realise there’s a couple of different body shapes, and it seems as if I’m the ‘Ectomorph’   the skinny guy that has trouble putting on muscle.

I know that you used to…and probably still do read all those mens health magazines and what not, so I figured instead of me trying to read a bunch of crap online…which i already have, I should just ask the guy that knows everything already.

I want to be realistic about this, so I’m just going to tell you exactly what i do now, because I’m sure if I say ‘oh yeah I sleep 8 hours a day, and eat healthy’, and all this bullshit, then I won’t see any improvement, because thats clearly not true

So in reality:

Breakfast– I eat an orange, or an apple, or a banana   (no eggs, no cereal)  I used to not eat anything at all  [time constraints, not because I don’t like food]

Lunch – sandwich, or cup-a-soup

Dinner– steak, some spinach, some potatoes maybe.   Dinner is my biggest meal though.  If i can’t find any veges, I just eat the steak.

Throughout the day – coffee  (I found out I’m addicted to caffeine recently because I’m getting caffiene headaches…through going without for a couple of days… and then feeling the consequences)

Weekends– sometimes I’ll just munch on m&m’s  or cook some steak for breakfast…because…you know, it’s in the fridge and i can’t find anything else to eat.

It must be noted, that I AM LAZY.  you already know that, but i have to admit it.  Sometimes, and i realise this sounds bad, but if i don’t have enough food in the house, i will choose to convince myself that i’m not hungry rather than go out and buy food.

Or if I’m too tired, I will convince myself that sleep is better than eating…so I just won’t eat dinner, or lunch, or whatever meal it is that i’m supposed to be eating.

-I will only really eat when I’m hungry.  There is no set timetables, it’s not that ‘oh its 6 o’clock, I have to eat’ or …oh its breakfast time… I have to eat.  It could be midnight, 20 mins before got to sleep, and I’ll be hungry and i’ll eat a steak.

Or I’ll eat m&m’s for breakfast..  and then laze and a couch for a while.

Why am I telling you this?    Because sticking to a regime/ rhythm is not my thing, and in reality its likely not to happen.

However if there’s an exercise regime that make me feel hungry at the right time, then I would be willing to do that.

Alcohol / party habits – I drink with friends.  If there’s no friends around, I don’t drink.  But when I do…it usually gets pretty serious.

-I don’t know if this is a plus side or not, but often (beijing days) I will drink so much that I end up vomiting, so I guess there’s a reason why I don’t put on weight through consuming alcohol.

My body will usually purge, which involves half a day, or sometimes a day of vomiting.  Eating magic mushrooms whilst also drinking alcohol…my body decided to do that.  1 full day of vomiting.  Not the most fun, but whatever I ate…wasn’t sticking.

-I don’t smoke, I don’t drink beer…just because… I don’t do any other drugs other than ‘trying’ the mushrooms.

Oh and i’d prefer to eat things with less oil. If the body’s goal is to make oil because oil= energy…then I don’t want to be eating just oil.  Which is why I don’t really like salads.  They taste like crap by themselves, and the only way to make it tasty is to cover it in oil.  ANd that doesn’t sound reasonable.

Exercise– In Beijing, i used to play squash once maybe twice a week.  And then would do fuck all else.

[since moving to the netherlands…oh shit, i’ve moved to the netherlands… i haven’t played squash yet]

-I have those stretchy arms things Steve gave me, and i do 40 or so stretches each night before going to bed.

-I will usually do about 20 pushups, (maybe every 2 days) 10 normal ones, & 10 from my knees.

-I used to do sit-ups, but I currently don’t do any of that.

-I’ve also been working in the warehouse, which although doesn’t target any specific muscle groups, its enough to warm up my body, get the heart pumping whilst lifting some heavy boxes and what-not.

Sleep – Currently I’m sleeping around 6.5 to 7.5 hours a day.   It’s not enough, and recently I’m constantly exhausted.

Goals – I don’t have those aims of get as big as possible, as quickly as possible.   I want to really only target the arms, chest and stomach area. A slow and steady improvement is fine by me.

In my mind, logically speaking, Stomach should be targeted by the correct diet.  Arms & Chest should be targeted by weights, especially chest weights.

Realistically what I am capable of doing (mind-wise)  – chest weights, no problem.
-Arm weights, no problem.
– Squash for general fitness and cardio, no problem.

Diet for general healthiness- no problem.

Squats to work out large leg muscle groups – fine

Climbing stairs for same reason- sure.

What iIm NOT going to do: -drink any of those protein shakes

-I don’t particularly enjoy embarrassing myself, so I would want to avoid open gyms as much as possible.

-Say I’m going to stick to an intense exercise regime…because lets face it, its not going to happen.

-I’m not going to go out for a run, i don’t enjoy it, and that is not my goal. (my goal is not to run a marathon anytime soon)

So, my friend, can you help me?

What would you suggest given everything that I’ve listed, and what my goals are?

Would you have any suggestions or any further questions?

I am well aware that what i’ve listed out is a recipe for disaster, but i also believe that there’s a chance for success given that I kind of already know my weaknesses and my situation.

What do you think?

Reply email from tom 13th December 2016  on getting fit

I gotta couple of ideas about what to do.

And unfortunately you may have to eat more.

Carbs and protein and vegetables to start with.

And nuts if you like them. Good for an easy snack cos you only need a handful at a time.

To improve fitness there’s a simple method. Sprints. 30s at 100% flat out and then 4mins 30s rest. Do that 4x. And do this sprint circuit 3x a week. Its only 6 mins of running a week. Just make sure its 100%. Imagine you’re being chased by someone, possibly a rapist. Haha.

If you have resistance bands an actual workout will be way easier. Also, I have a book that I can send over if you want. Its a workout book that doesn’t need the gym.

Its 3 circuits a week. Do each one set of each exercise, one after the other. Rest 2 minutes after finishing the circuit before repeating. Do the whole circuit 3x.

Day 1:

Push Ups x20

Bodyweight Squats x25

Pull ups x5

Glute Bridges x20

Pike Press x8

Day 2:


Day 3:

Band Chest Press x8

Band High Pulls x10

Band Curls x10 each arm

Bodyweight Squats x25

Chair dips x10

Day 4:


Day 5:

Diamond Pushups x15

Bodyweight Squats x25

Pull Ups x5

Glute Bridges x20

Pike Press x8

Day 6: 


Glute Bridge: Lie down with legs in sit-up position, arms at 45 to body and head on the ground. Lift your arse up as high as you can, pause for a second, then lower.

Pike Press: Push up position, then walk the legs forward until you’re bent in a v shape. Then do push ups like that.

Band chest press: band goes around the back and hands are in the band, starting at shoulders. Stand with knees bent and push arms forward explosively. Slowly bring hands back to shoulders.

Band high pulls: Band looped under feet and hands holding it about waist high. Pull the band up to shoulders, elbows out but not higher than shoulders.

Band curls: loop band under one foot. Use hand on same side and curl the band upwards, keeping elbow at the side.

Chair dips: Place hands on chair whilst facing away from the chair, legs straight out in front, resting on heels. Lower the body, then explosively push back up.

Diamond push ups: Push up position but with thumbs and index finger touching to make a diamond shape. Then do push ups.

Let me know if you have any questions about this stuff.
Most of them can probably be found on youtube anyway.
Also, would it be cool if I got Molly in on this?
She would know how to do it much better as its her job now. Hope this helps.