Tagline: Only one man can stop the Yakuza

Would you believe this movie featured Seagal as a writer, music and Actor?
Of course you would… because this movie is terrible.
Even for Seagal fans.
And all of those terms, of course should be held lightly.

This is the first Seagal movie that we had to stop half-way because we just weren’t into it.  The characters were wooden, …I don’t think I’ve ever described anyone as that before.. because it sounds so cliché… but this entire movie was like that.  The characters were wooden, the plot had just enough to show Seagal’s martial art skill + his ‘spiritual’ side, and somewhat knowledge of Japanese culture.

So what the hell is the story anyway?

Apparently a Japanese Mayor is murdered for his views on kicking out immigrants, this is not really crucial to the story its just to invite an ‘investigator’ in from an American agency because supposedly it might be linked to terrorism.  Everything is kind of vague here, but for some reason the FBI rings the CIA and asks for help investigating the case, and they send their ‘expert on Asian/ Japanese culture’ and agent… plus a tag along FBI dude for which it is unbelievable that he is a fully accredited agent to tag along and give reports back to the agency….apparently Seagal’s character is a bit rogue… ?
No surprise there…he’s just playing the exact same role as he does in every other movie.

It seems the younger generation of the Yakuza and the Triads (Tong family) are actually teaming up, and not obeying the old school rules and are now killing many people, and expanding trade potentially to America.  Seagal’s character does little to no actual investigation work himself, he just sits down with the older generation Yakuza and other contacts and just asks them… and because he is a sword master… they just apparently freely give up information.  To be fair, they don’t like the younger generation either… but still… anyone that knows anything Japanese or Chinese culture…it’s that they don’t like foreigners a whole lot..   Seagal’s character must have to be pretty special to get those kind of sit downs.

We’re introduced to Seagal’s love interest for the sole reason that she will be killed later, and he can say the line “there’s nothing more dangerous than a man that’s got nothing to live for”

Most of the time you can’t tell which one his wife is.  Not because… ‘ all Asian’s look the same, or something insensitive like that’, but because the majority of women in this movie have zero emotions, and the wife keeps changing clothes and even hairstyles to the point where you’re asking yourself… ‘who is this?’  and it turns out to be the wife.

Just as you’re left thinking… ‘I …actually don’t care about nay of these characters… I wouldn’t mind if they just all died’   It’s as if the film heard your request and it starts with the FBI tag-along… getting his neck broken… mainly due to his own incompetence.

Even for Seagal crap movie fans, I would not recommend this movie.  The fact that it took us 2 sittings to get through should tell you something.

It’s a bad movie.  And it’s not one of those ‘it’s so bad that it’s good’ kind of classic Seagal movies that we’re used to…. This is just a bad movie.

After checking Wikipedia… and trying to find what the magic sweet-spot is for Seagal movies, I think its one’s that he produces and acts in, and anything that’s later years.

So my next few movies from Seagal will focus on this.

Contract to Kill, & Kill Switch were amazing.   I will be looking for more like this.

(source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Seagal)

So Kill Switch, he was producer, writer and Actor.  And Contract to Kill just Actor…. I will be making a proper ranking of the best (funniest-kind of terrible amazingly crap) kind of movies soon.