Narrator: Kirby Heyborne

Length: 9 hours 58 mins

Fred is back!

For those of you that are new to this series… you can either read my other reviews for book1 The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant and / or book 2 Undeath and Taxes.

But as I know some of you are not going to click those links…


Essentially Fred led a rather boring life when he was alive, and then he got turned into a vampire, and complacent with his lot in life continued being the accountant.  He just started making mild changes to ensure he could continue living his meek now, undead life.  These changes, such as opening his own accounting firm, as well as meeting up again with his old high school flame Krystal (who turns out to be an agent which governs para-human affairs, he ends up finding himself in a whole bunch of new and interesting adventures, for which each one he makes some new friends, placates potential foes, resolves situations and generally manages to explore more of this new para-human world around him.

Once again the book is written like a journal, and Bloody Acquisitions features 5 individual stories.  Although of course each one leads on/ facilitates the rest.

They are:

  1. A hunter in the streets– Fred is targeted by an unwieldy ‘monster hunter’.
  2. A sheriff in the country – Fred and Krystal take a holiday to an all para-human town called Burback, 1 of only 5 in the country, for which Albert the zombie is meeting with another ‘Sword of Destiny’ wielder.
  3. A lawyer in the mansion– Fred joins forces with a lawyer who has been recently introduced to the para-human world as the accountant to help solve the inheritance dispute between 2 mages (magic wielders) after their father has died.
  4. A spy in the company – in which the vampire wanting to move into Fred’s city is formerly introduced to Fred, whilst trying to find the mighty ‘Vampire that is highly connected and for which even a dragon considers him a friend’
  5. An accountant in the city– Fred has to resolve the issue of dealing with the other vampires coming into his territory without being absorbed into such a violent clan, and try’s to avoid relocating/fleeing to Burback.


The narration continues to be awesome.  Kirby Heyborne nails the voices of the new vampires, as well as the recurring characters like Gideon (the dragon), Bubba the were-steed, Richard the were-lion [with the ever-present growl that can be heard in the voice] Plus Fred’s voice is perfect, subdued but eloquent.

Plus, what really adds to it is the little mannerisms and emotions of each character that works it’s way into the narration.  For instance there’s a scene when Lilian and Fred come back from the Lawyer and Lilian yawns whilst speaking… it’s a nice touch… I’ll be looking out / listening out for that in other books I listen to from now on.

I think this is my favourite new character in this book, just from the voice….her voice is exactly what you’d assume a vampire’s voice would be like that has had years of ‘proper etiquette’ training believing their race (vampires) to be superior above all others.


I love the light-heartedness but interestingness of this book.  I would think the only real comparison, not in terms of story, but that light hearted enjoyable-ness, would be the Off to be the Wizard series. 

This is just generally, such an all-around great book.
However, whilst the 1st 2 in the series just stopped abruptly at the end of the event, this one feels like it has more of an actual conclusion… even though it is still open.
So i really wish that this isn’t the end of the series, i really hope Drew Hayes continues to publish more Fred the Vampire stories.
If they are as good as they have been these past 3 books, no matter how many he makes, i’ll be buying them.

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