Length: 1 hour 58 mins

On poster: From the producer of Godzilla.   (yep, it’s pretty much Godzilla but with a monkey instead)

I wasn’t expecting to watch this movie. Because its one of those ….’just another recycled piece of shit’  kind of films.

Is it shit?
You betchya!

Saying the plot is just KONG… isn’t too far off.

Basically, they find an island through satellite imagery, previously undiscovered because it has a constant storm system around it.  They go to claim the island before the Russians. … pesky Russians.

They boat there, then helicopter off the boat with a military escort (only 3 helicopters on the boat… but more than 7 is shown once they get to the island)

-They get to the island…all is paradise.
-They start dropping seismic charges to see if there’s any resources.
*plot change
-They see a giant monkey… and for no particular reason decide to destroy it.  (oh wait, kong throws a tree at 1 helicopter)
But you know, instead of regroup and figure out a plan…they just try to destroy it.
-They almost all die.  No more helicopters any more.
-Turns out the explosions allowed some 2-legged lizard monsters to come out.
*plot change
-2 groups of people now. civilians and military.
-Military’s aim (led by Samuel L Jackson) is to destroy the big monkey
-Civilians aim is to get off the island.
-Civilians meet a tribe of people for which Kong protects, and some American dude that’s been on the island for 20 years or so. He’s an idiot
*plot change
-Civilians convince most of military to stop trying to kill KONG, but Jackson doesn’t’ listen.
-They now all help KONG defeat the biggest 2-legged lizard.
somehow they get off the island.   [it is never shown…just a sunset is shown]
-Lost American guy from worldwar 2 greets the family he left behind.

Saying its not as good as many Steven Seagal films… is actually correct.

I mean it was actually released in Hollywood… so it should be something that people acutally want to see…nto a direct to dvd standard Seagal affair.

But….this was pretty damn bad.

And you just ended up laughing out of the patheticness of it.

It was well produced though.  Special effects, camera angles, lighting, the way that they cut scenes to keep the action up.  All of this was great.  Oh and made by Tencent media.  (Chinese company)

Pretty impressive to be honest.

But the plot, as listed above was utter shit.

Still… if you’ve got 1.5 hours to kill …and want to yell at a television for a bit and…want to see some truly awkward dialogue… then I would recommend this movie.