After writing the Drew Hayes complete novels article, I began perusing his website a bit more…. and I found some true gold.

1.

Whoops, I Accidentally Broke Time

A short story by Drew Hayes, and possibly the best I’ve ever read.  Plus, it’s really short and pretty funny.

2.

The Worst Speaker Money Can Buy

Drew Hayes, offering his services as a public/ event speaker.

Trust me, it’s worth the read…. but if you can’t be bothered simply clicking on a button, as I know many of you can’t… then here’s some of my favourite parts..

It is in this spirit of entrepreneurial adventure that we proudly present the newest offering: the ability to book me, Drew Hayes, for private speaking engagements. Yes, for the low price of only $10,000 (plus all travel and booze expenses) you too can sit in rapt silence as I tell you the harrowing story of how I wrote dick jokes until they were able to cover the rent. 

 5) Action. Sometimes when I’m drunk I get confused by the stage curtains and try to fight them. Just let it play out, it’s a nice break in the flow for the audience and I’ve been told it’s an entertaining show to watch. One of these days I’ll actually win too, and that will make for an all the more amazing event.

Booking can be made by reaching out to my secretary, who is also me, at NovelistDrew@gmail.com. Please allow at least a couple of weeks of notice so I can properly prime my liver and plan out how to cram as many drinking cues into the speech as possible. I look forward to working with all of you!

3.

Supervillain Apology Letter

‘From the desk of Baron Baddington, Esquire.’

A great half-felt apology letter from a supervillain, apologising from everythign from blowing up half the moon…to turning everyone to cats in an efforts to make them more obedient to him…only to realise that cats were probably one of the worst choices for animals to domesticate.

Super Villain Broadcast

Also from the desk of Baron Baddington, Esquire. …  a list of demands for removing his own diabolical plan to block out the sun.

4.

5-Minute Sherlock: The Case of Briskly Burned Shed

Hahahah this is great, just….here’s the introductory sentence…. and I’m sure you’ll be interested…

Sherman Holmes, thanks to a powerful trip on experimental drugs, gained the power to channel the deductive reasoning of his great-grand-uncle Sherlock for five minutes every day. These are the tales of how he utterly wastes that ability.

—-

Falling face first into the grass, hard, Sherman passed out as the five minute time limit struck. Joe looked over at the burned remains, all too aware that no one else yet knew Sherman had survived the incident, and then let out another sigh. Instead of anything criminal, he contented himself by spraying Sherman’s unconscious body with the hose for a bit longer. It was petty, true, but as the one who would have to go shopping for a new shed this afternoon, not to mention purchase flowers as apology to his now-gone guest, Joe felt entitled to a touch of pettiness.

 

Well there you have it, hope you enjoyed… and i hope maybe theses are enough to get you into the wonder that is Drew Hayes.
The cover picture by the way, is actually his official cover photo for all of his books.  Great right?